GIVE A WEDDING SPEACH

Spoof Wedding Telegrams?

Can anybody help me. I am in the middle of writing my best mans speech. I need some funny and up to date telegrams to mix in with the real ones to add some humour. Any examples appreciated

Aren’t telegrams from BEFORE there was a telephone???? Why would you put a telegram into his speech? And why are YOU writing HIS speech???

Something is seriously wrong with you… you DO know that it is the year 2008 and there is the internet and telephones…. right??

Calgary Singing Telegrams “50th Wedding Anniversary”